12 Awards, they all need trophies of some kind. Something more interesting than the usual bits of marble and gold looking plastic. They must be cheap too. Any ideas? Barbies spray painted gold? Edible trophies i.e. easter eggs wrapped in gold and silver?
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Potatoes sprayed gold.
Chunks of desiccated whale vomit.
They’d give a lovely smell to the place.
Gay Byrne’s fingers for 10 of the prizes and his pickled eyeballs for the other.
Shrunken Heads? Monkeys’ Paws? Kevin Myers Action Figures?
A lock of Dolores O’Riordan’s pubic hair.
The word “cunt” done in brass
Or bras.
A freshly cut lock of Rick O’Shea’s hair…
No, perhaps not…
Why not little gold toilets, the they can be called the bog awards. I also like Twentys suggestion of golden potatoes,or as they will be known the golden spuds.
Whats that on your mantle piece , ” thats a golden spud award”
Candied mice.
Correction. Golden mice.
… meaning you could call it The Golden Mouse Awards.
Golden spray painted log with a letter “B” on top? Maybe not…
Will put it out to my punters tomorrow night and see what they come up with, clever lot that they are.
I don’t have enough hair left to go giving it away you know…
R
bogroll, painted gold, natch.
A record breaking turd with googly eyes suspended in formaldahyde